I’m not sure when or where the little lie seeped in, all quiet at first, but deceitful and slimy all the same.
There isn’t an age I remember believing it was truth, or an event that I believe precipitated it, but it’s there. Some days it is drowned out by the life-giving Word and Truth of my Savior. And some other days, well, other days it’s just plain loud in my heart.
photo: WhyWanderlust via Etsy
The lie that leaked in and soaked into the wounded cracks and crevices of my heart is that I am unloveable. That something inside me, something about me, is unworthy of love. That somewhere along the way, this girl got disqualified for receiving unconditional love from another person.
And when you begin to believe that you are not worth loving, your true personality, your God-given identity, it gets all jumbled up in the mess. You may overcompensate to gain the love of others, to prove to the world around you that you are indeed worth it, like all human beings. Or you may shrink back, sure of your fate, afraid of what you believe is the truth, that there is no one who can truly love your icky self, and so why not just save them and you from the inevitable outcome that this thing isn’t going to work because you cannot be loved.
Friends, we must start right here at this lie. Let’s unveil it. Let’s expose it. Let’s call it what it is. Let’s understand that, sort of like that old cliche, we can’t fully love others well if we do not know how deeply we are loved.
Sisters, brothers, the God I know says “Come, follow me.” Not let me fix you first and then you can join this family. Not let me change this thing and then you will be mine. He says you are already His.
He already loves you.
Just as you are. And when you believe that about your identity, when you believe that a loving Savior wants you, all of you, right now, just like this, then you can trust in who you were made to be in the first place. Because He does not want someone else. No. Just. You.
This 31 Days Series is a tag-team effort with Courtney Laib of Story Hope. We’re digging deep to look at where we find our identities, the areas of identity in which we struggle, and the truth of who we truly are. It will be raw and messy, and we pray that we will each come away with a clearer sense of who we are and who we’ve been made to be.