The following post is written by Courtney Laib of Story Hope. This is part 2 in our tag-team series: 31 Days of Identity. We’re digging deep to look at where we find our identities, the areas of identity in which we struggle, and the truth of who we truly are. Catch up on Part 1 here.
My first memory of feeling like I was ‘broken’ was around the age of eight years old. My mom had signed me up for a daddy/daughter dance at our church. I had never been to one of those before. Because I didn’t have a dad.
My biological father wasn’t a part of my life (and still isn’t) but my mom, with good intentions I am sure, decided to ask one of the men from our church to take me to the daddy/daughter dance. I don’t remember the man’s name or even who he was but I’m sure he was nice. I got dressed up, which I probably threw a fit over because I was major tomboy, and arrived at the church with my “date” like all the other girls. I probably looked like all the other girls, but I definitely didn’t feel like one of them. The dance began and while as innocent as it all was, it was too much for my little eight year old heart to handle. I ran out of the gym and into the bathroom, sobbing, and yelling “He’s not my dad!”
At the young age of eight years old, I was having an identity crisis. Who was I? Who was my father? Why didn’t he love me? And this struggle continued for many, many years. What I didn’t realize at eight years old was that I DID have a father. And He loved me very much.He was a Father that would never leave. A Father that didn’t see me as broken. A Father who wanted the best for me. A Father who wanted me to know how much I was loved. And He STILL is all of these things.
When I was 19 years old I got a tattoo of the words “Abba Father” on my back. It reminds me daily that God is my Father and He’s the best a girl could ever have. My identity, OUR identity, does not lie in our earthly fathers. Because they’re not perfect. Whether you have an amazing earthly father or an absent one like me, it’s never wise to put our identities in someone or something that will eventually disappoint us. So that only leaves, one option right?
May the identity of OUR hearts lie in the heart of the ONE who made us, loves us, and knows us.
Courtney is a mom, wife, friend, and Instagram addict. She lives in the Chicago area with her Pastor husband and three year old son. She is a fan of summer time, chai tea lattes, running, making new friends, traveling, and loving the ‘least of these’. She blogs at storyhope.com and you can usually find her talking about life, faith, and finding hope in brokenness.