photo by sweetdreamsandhoney // available here
Nothing can really prepare us for a moment when we find out we’ve been rejected.
We learn that we weren’t chosen. That someone or something else was chosen instead.
When two options were weighed, someone else was decided to be smarter/prettier/wiser/cooler/holier/thinner… better. Or something else was found to be more worthy of our friend’s or loved one’s time and resources, and maybe, of their love.
It’s what we believe when we feel that familiar sting: We are not good enough.
I know the big life-shattering kind of rejection well. More than a decade later, I’ve forgiven and have found freedom in Christ. Still, little slap-the-face moments come along now and again. Such is life. A seemingly harmless word or action (or lack of action), probably not intended to wound, occurs, and that Spirit of Rejection crops it’s ugly head.
These smaller moments seem to be upon me a lot lately.
photo by MySweetReveries // available here
I felt my breath slip away from me.
Yes, when I say “Rejection Sucks”, I’m not trying to crass. I mean that quite literally, in a few words not intended to harm, rejection sucked the life, the breath, right out of my lungs. I felt my heart stop for a second and my defenses rise and the holding back of tears. Whether it was truly rejection or just my perception through this cracked lens of insecurity, it stung all the same.
I held it together in the moment. That sting I’m so familiar with, I know how it makes me lash out and spew hot, careless words. By God’s grace alone did I keep my mouth quiet in those moments.
But inside? I was reeling. And in the hours that followed, I fought a battle in my mind. The heart of the dialogue in my head swung wildly from a fiery pride [“Oh you think that’s a better choice over me? I’ll show you how wrong you were.”] to a deep ache [“I must have done something wrong. I am not enough. I have failed.“].
Yesterday morning in church God arrested my heart in one of those moments where you hear a word you just know is Him. Not an audible voice. Not a parting of the sky with an angel’s declaration. But a clear, direct whisper that wasn’t your own thought, but only His.
“Don’t let pride shut your mouth or your heart.”
In other words?
Press on, daughter.
You have words to say that I’ve put in your mouth to be spoken. You have a story to tell. And I think it’s important. I think you’re important. So don’t stop. Keep speaking up. Keep going where I’ve asked you to go and sharing what I’ve asked you to share.
I ask you today, friend: have you been burned?
Did you get stung?
Did that little sting turn into a gaping, gushing wound that you’ve covered with a little bandaid, with a little pride, a little anger, a little bitterness, a little withdrawal from the world? Or a big ol’ wall of “oh-no-you-didn’t-now-I’ll-show-you-who’s-best”?
photo by barefootcitygirl // available here
Here’s the truth:
You are no less valuable or loved or worth it or significant or worthy than anyone else.
No less precious and beautiful and miraculous than the day you came out of the womb in which He knit you up and let you be known to the world in all your newborn wonder.
The truth is, He made you wonderful.
The truth is, you are chosen and loved.
The truth is, He covers you under His wings. He is your refuge.
The truth is, you’ve been set free.
The truth is, you have everything you need.
The truth is, you can do all things in Christ.
The truth is, you’ve been made complete.
The truth is, when you let it, that rejection-turned-hurt-turned-pride-turned-bitterness will suck the life and story right out of your lungs if you let it.
But the truth is, the good news is, the hope is, it doesn’t have to. You can choose life instead of death, blessings instead of curses.
You, we, can turn the tables and dismiss that sucky rejection.
We can choose freedom and move forward boldly to be who He’s called us to be:
That is, wonderful, whole, chosen, loved, free, and complete.
sharing with you over coffee +