Some days just hurt.
Not for any particular reason.
Not because of any extra difficult circumstance.
Some days just do.
You know those days? Please tell me I’m not the only one that has the hard days. The sad days. The days when, despite knowing the intimate, endless, unconditional love of a Savior, there is an ache deep down in the soul.
I try to push through those days with gratitude. With thanksgiving. Being specific and giving praise for countless, bountiful blessings lavishly poured out on me, on our family, by a loving Savior.
It helps a little, but that soul ache never completely lifts.
Of course, some days are really good, too. Some days are so full of that inexpressible, deep-in-your-spirit-joy that I actually can’t contain it. On those days, it explodes through tangible acts of love; that joy, it seeps out into every conversation, every interaction with the kids, every menial chore. I fold laundry joyfully. I scrub dishes joyfully. I change my son’s fifth poopy diaper of the day, joyfully.
On the hard days, those some days that hurt, I tend to add injury to insult as I allow guilt to creep in and condemn myself for not breathing joy. For not feeling happy when I know there is no reason in the world worthy of stealing that eternal soul-joy.
But the some days still come.
And I’m trying to better allow myself to be real on those days, to shed false guilt. No, not to wallow. Not to pout. But to acknowledge that there is something lacking. This world is imperfect. It is broken and painful and troublesome.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus, John 16:33
Everyday we do our best to live out His call in us.
And when the hard days come, we recognize the ache as a strangely holy thing. Because, as a friend recently reminded me, we must remember that our citizenship is in heaven.
Of course we ache! Yes, he has given us everything we need to live this life here in this broken world. EVERYTHING. He has given Himself. He has given us His Spirit.
But remember that His Spirit is a promise of things to come; the promise of Heaven itself.
For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling,because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. – 2 Corinthians 5:1-5
So friends, that ache on the hard days, it’s a holy longing to be home. A longing for the day when we see Him face to face.
And see His face we will.
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