Some days just hurt.
Not for any particular reason.
Not because of any extra difficult circumstance.
Some days just do.
You know those days? Please tell me I’m not the only one that has the hard days. The sad days. The days when, despite knowing the intimate, endless, unconditional love of a Savior, there is an ache deep down in the soul.
I try to push through those days with gratitude. With thanksgiving. Being specific and giving praise for countless, bountiful blessings lavishly poured out on me, on our family, by a loving Savior.
It helps a little, but that soul ache never completely lifts.
Of course, some days are really good, too. Some days are so full of that inexpressible, deep-in-your-spirit-joy that I actually can’t contain it. On those days, it explodes through tangible acts of love; that joy, it seeps out into every conversation, every interaction with the kids, every menial chore. I fold laundry joyfully. I scrub dishes joyfully. I change my son’s fifth poopy diaper of the day, joyfully.
On the hard days, those some days that hurt, I tend to add injury to insult as I allow guilt to creep in and condemn myself for not breathing joy. For not feeling happy when I know there is no reason in the world worthy of stealing that eternal soul-joy.
But the some days still come.
And I’m trying to better allow myself to be real on those days, to shed false guilt. No, not to wallow. Not to pout. But to acknowledge that there is something lacking. This world is imperfect. It is broken and painful and troublesome.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus, John 16:33
Everyday we work out our salvation. Everyday we press on for the good work He is completing in us.
Everyday we do our best to live out His call in us.
And when the hard days come, we recognize the ache as a strangely holy thing. Because, as a friend recently reminded me, we must remember that our citizenship is in heaven.
Of course we ache! Yes, he has given us everything we need to live this life here in this broken world. EVERYTHING. He has given Himself. He has given us His Spirit.
But remember that His Spirit is a promise of things to come; the promise of Heaven itself.
For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling,because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. – 2 Corinthians 5:1-5
So friends, that ache on the hard days, it’s a holy longing to be home. A longing for the day when we see Him face to face.
And see His face we will.
Some day.
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Oh Miss Lauren, you certainly are NOT the only one who has these days.
I’ve lived with them for years. But, I think we forget that our real self is encased in a imperfect human body. There are hormones, chemical imbalances and all kinds of things going on in this amazing body we live in.
But, amazing as it is it is still just a human body. I’ve found I have to just get busy, simple as that. Try not to let myself wallow in the depression but not to dismiss it either . Realize what it is and Thank our Father that when we rejoin him we will also have perfect bodies! Tomorrow will be great again!
Sandi Reagan
Central IL
Sandi: I’m treasuring your words right now. Absolutely, positively, truth + good words for my soul! Love your advice. Love your prayers. Appreciate your kindness + grace + honesty. Thank you so much for visiting! blessings -l
Lauren recently posted…Weekend Reading
It is a mutal admiration Miss Lauren. I look forward to your posts very much! I thank you!
Sandi
This is so true. I’ve been having a lot of these days lately. In a way it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. Praying for you Lauren.
Chantel recently posted…an adoption update – when no news isn’t good news
Oh this was a much needed post. My down days seem to happen a lot more in the winter. I think the Lord created me for sunshine ;)
Hi,
Just found your site and wanted to say it’s really encouraging. You’re a beautiful writer and I love seeing your heart for all God’s people. (You had me when I saw your post about Syria…I used to live in the Middle East.)
I have these days a lot. I think sometimes I’m just really sensitive to all the things that happen in the world. Like everyone else’s skin is thicker than mine. I react to strangers hurting as though they are my friends. It’s good and bad. Good to feel deeply, to love deeply. Bad to walk around pressing bandages to your heart all the time.
It helps me to go outside. Breathe fresh air. See the sun. Some days, that’s really the only thing that helps.
Lauren, this post was such a blessing to me. Firstly because it was raw and real. Secondly, because for some unknown reason, I felt this way just yesterday. It was 40th birthday. I didn’t feel sad because of that reason. Not at all. It may have been because it was my first birthday without parents on this Earth…
But I’m not convinced that is the reason either… I think you said it so well. Our citizenship is in Heaven, and somedays, our souls just long to be there. It’s almost like we’re homesick…
Thank you so much for you beautiful words, which have truly resonated with this gal!
God bless you as you abide in Him!
Tehila recently posted…Warning: Don’t Read if Your Life is Perfect
I have those same days. It’s that ache that reminds us we were made for another place. Thanks for sharing your heart here and being transparent. Blessings!
Christina recently posted…Preparing for the Storms of Life
Everyday we work out our salvation. Man, that really spoke to me. We can’t rely on what we worked out yesterday bc everyday has new troubles of its own. Thanks so much for being honest and open. I popped over here from Royal Daughter’s “Desire to Inspire” blog link-up.
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