You know I like you, right? You know I’ve come a long way from our first meeting many years ago. Dare I say, I’ve come to love you.
But sometimes love hurts, so let’s have an honest little chat, ok? I just have to get this off my chest. I’ll feel better if we just get it all out there, put it all on the table.
Ok, brace yourself, I’m trying to be gentle about this, but, here’s the thing, Virginia, THIS is not grounds for a snow day:
[exhibit A: actual photo of our front yard, taken just a few moments ago, on a real live snow day]
Yes, Virginia, there was a little dusting of snow this morning.
Actually, I’m not sure this even qualifies as a dusting. A little whisper of snow. A little hint.
I know what you’re going to say, Miss Virginia.
I’ve heard it all before.
You are going to tell me about how big the county is; how when school is cancelled, it is for the safety of all the kids in the county, and some live nearly all the way back in those there mountains. And way back in the hollars, as they tell me, though despite my efforts to understand this Southern concept, I really don’t understand in the least, nor have I ever passed by, or seen, or known of, or been in an actual hollar.
So I’m sorry, Virginia, I’m really struggling to buy your story.
See that road? Nothin. Nada. Not the faintest lick of snow stuck.
Do you know, when I was a kid……….
[Photo by Chris Hondros/Getty Images]
Yeah, where I come from we……
You know what the worst part is?
The kids are so excited.
Not just because they don’t have school, but because they don’t have school because of this illusive snow. They are dying to play in it. But the thing about it is:
THERE. IS. NO. SNOW!
It’s heartbreaking for these little folk.
I’m trying, Virginia, really I am, but today? It’s feeling a little bit on the side of crazy.
Until next time (which will likely be sometime in the next week with the next threat of a hint of a rumor of a flake of fluff), Virginia, hope your people are nice and safe and warm inside on this wintry day.
The Confused Northerner
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Today I’m linking up with the lovely Lauren Casper for her Open Letter Campaign.