When I was 16 years old, I came to know Jesus. I always knew of Him. But I came to know Him, the great God of the Universe who loved messed up me with an everlasting love. The King of Kings who laid down His life to give me mine, in abundance. He is the Lover of my soul and Savior of my life.
Not soon after finding Jesus, my eyes slowly opened to the brokenness around me. And also the pain and poverty and death not so near to me, around the globe. Along this journey with Jesus, He has given me little glimpses of what life was really like for the world, beyond the comfort of America.
Adrian and I have wrestled and prayed and cried together over the injustice. We have taken small steps to make a difference. We have talked extensively over how to be the difference. How to live differently. How to respond. Adoption is a frequent conversation in our home and a call that does not relent.
This past July, consumed with conviction to act, I spoke out my heart, said the words, “It’s time to go. I must go.”
In her new book, Awake: Doing a World of Good One Person at a Time, Noelle Brewer Yeatts, Vice President of World Help, challenges readers to open their eyes to the needs of our hurting world. Referencing Bill Hybels’ book Holy Discontent, Noelle writes,
“We need to figure out what we can’t stand. Most people try to avoid this process, but the truth is, there is something in the world that bothers you. There’s something you can’t stand…
…Once you find what you can’t stand- what disturbs you- you have to feed it… If you are not careful, you will fill your life with other things so that you don’t have to pay attention to what wrecks you. You will medicate your discontent.”
So after so many years of writing and praying and talking about the need, I click these keys today from a seat on an airplane headed to Central America.
To a place where, in rural areas, 80% of children suffer chronic malnutrition. Chronic. It is unrelenting and never ending and, all too often, cuts little lives too short.
I’m about to dive in to the very thing that wrecks me.
Into a world I cannot stand.
Not the geographic location of Guatemala or the lifestyle or the beautiful people, of course, but the realities that will meet me in this place. The world that is theirs to live every day. The only world they know to be true.
Babies dying simply for lack of clean drinking water and preventable waterborne illnesses; of starvation because their bodies are so plagued with diarrhea from dirty water that their bellies cannot absorb nutrients even when they have food to eat.
So many have said to me, “I just don’t know how you’ll do it.”
I understand their sentiment. They know the weight is heavy to enter in to such pain. On some levels, I’ve had the same thought and even said it out loud myself.
But for me, there is a greater sentiment that pursues my heart. That moves me to go in spite of any other doubt or fear or even in spite of that tempting pull of my comfortable life at home.
To each sweet one who has said, “I just don’t know how you can do it”, and to myself in those moments when I question how or why I would chose to go, I say:
I just don’t know how I can’t.
I am blogging with WorldHelp from Guatemala this week, October 1-6. I am joining a team of partners and bloggers to join the rescue: Operation Baby Rescue. Thank you for joining us to save lives and restore hope! You can tweet with us at #irescue and #blog4WH.
To read more about the rescue, please take a moment to watch the short film in the sidebar. If you would be willing to give, you may do so HERE. Every dollar counts! Thank you, friends, for joining this incredible journey.
— Join us for a Live Cast from Guatemala on Thursday night, October 4th, at 8:30pm (est) —
Please consider sharing this post with others… Invite them to join the rescue!
Sharing this week at some of these link ups and communities.
only by Grace,
Your comments bless me! Thank you for your prayers. I will try to answer comments as I can, but know your words are treasured, especially this week.