When I was 16 years old, I came to know Jesus. I always knew of Him. But I came to know Him, the great God of the Universe who loved messed up me with an everlasting love. The King of Kings who laid down His life to give me mine, in abundance. He is the Lover of my soul and Savior of my life.
Not soon after finding Jesus, my eyes slowly opened to the brokenness around me. And also the pain and poverty and death not so near to me, around the globe. Along this journey with Jesus, He has given me little glimpses of what life was really like for the world, beyond the comfort of America.
And for years, years, my heart has beat for the poor and the least of these and the most vulnerable among us. I have blogged about it again and again and again and again.
Adrian and I have wrestled and prayed and cried together over the injustice. We have taken small steps to make a difference. We have talked extensively over how to be the difference. How to live differently. How to respond. Adoption is a frequent conversation in our home and a call that does not relent.
This past July, consumed with conviction to act, I spoke out my heart, said the words, “It’s time to go. I must go.”
In her new book, Awake, Noelle Brewer Yeatts, Vice President of World Help, challenges readers to open their eyes to the needs of our hurting world. Referencing Bill Hybels’ book Holy Discontent, Noelle writes,
“We need to figure out what we can’t stand. Most people try to avoid this process, but the truth is, there is something in the world that bothers you. There’s something you can’t stand…
…Once you find what you can’t stand- what disturbs you- you have to feed it… If you are not careful, you will fill your life with other things so that you don’t have to pay attention to what wrecks you. You will medicate your discontent.”
So after so many years of writing and praying and talking about the need, I click these keys today from a seat on an airplane headed to Central America.
To a place where, in rural areas, 80% of children suffer chronic malnutrition. Chronic. It is unrelenting and never ending and, all too often, cuts little lives too short.
I’m about to dive in to the very thing that wrecks me.
Into a world I cannot stand.
Not the geographic location of Guatemala or the lifestyle or the beautiful people, of course, but the realities that will meet me in this place. The world that is theirs to live every day. The only world they know to be true.
Babies dying simply for lack of clean drinking water and preventable waterborne illnesses; of starvation because their bodies are so plagued with diarrhea from dirty water that their bellies cannot absorb nutrients even when they have food to eat.
So many have said to me, “I just don’t know how you’ll do it.”
I understand their sentiment. They know the weight is heavy to enter in to such pain. On some levels, I’ve had the same thought and even said it out loud myself.
But for me, there is a greater sentiment that pursues my heart. That moves me to go in spite of any other doubt or fear or even in spite of that tempting pull of my comfortable life at home.
To each sweet one who has said, “I just don’t know how you can do it”, and to myself in those moments when I question how or why I would chose to go, I say:
I just don’t know how I can’t.
I am blogging with WorldHelp from Guatemala this week, October 1-6. I am joining a team of partners and bloggers to join the rescue: Operation Baby Rescue. Thank you for joining us to save lives and restore hope! You can tweet with us at #irescue and #blog4WH.
To read more about the rescue, please take a moment to watch the short film in the sidebar. If you would be willing to give, you may do so HERE. Every dollar counts! Thank you, friends, for joining this incredible journey.
– Join us for a Live Cast from Guatemala on Thursday night, October 4th, at 8:30pm (est) —
Please consider sharing this post with others… Invite them to join the rescue!
Sharing this week at some of these link ups and communities.
only by Grace,
Lauren
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Your comments bless me! Thank you for your prayers. I will try to answer comments as I can, but know your words are treasured, especially this week.
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Lauren, I love this! I’m praying for you all this week, believing God will do amazing things.
thank you Taylor!!!! blessed by your prayers :)
Praying, praying, praying.
Praying for your heart. I remember when I went on my very first missions trip to the garbage slums of cairo egypt. Where we lived with the children in the slums for two weeks. I was derailed. My heart was profoundly impacted and I will never ever put out a child in need. I believe its our job to love, protect and serve children. Just the way Christ would have and how He does through us. I am praying the Lord guides your steps during this trip and speaks gently to your heart so you can boldly love in His name.
Jess: thank you for those prayers. We covet them. God is faithful.
I spent a summer right outta college with a missions project in Guatemala. It’s a lovely place, and when you see the wealth in some areas, it’s almost hard to imagine the real poverty that exists. The family I stayed with bought a washing machine (the 1st in the village) while I was there, and asked me to translate the operating instructions, since no one knew how to use it. I’m sure you’ll be amazed at what God will do for you and through you on your trip, Lauren.
Lauren, I am so moved. Your passion is unmistakeable, and is completely evident in the words that you speak. More than that, your courage moves me. Your willingness to go into the unknown and to face the unspeakable, and to feel the pain, and to ACT on your passion is beautiful. I will be praying for you, and look forward to reading your blog!
Nicole: Sorry I am just now getting through posts from my week in Guatemala. I so appreciate you reading and your thoughtful comment and your prayers. Miss you guys. Come visit us any time :) love you! lauren
You can do it!!!!
You can do it!!!
You are there because God put this desire in you; you are His hands and feet this week. Go, knowing you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. He didn’t call us to walk the easy road; sometimes He wants us to cry with Him for the ones that are hurting.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I’m soooo proud of you!!! You are His light and this week you are shining so bright. :-)
Much love,
Jen
YOU are coming with me next time, Miss Jen. Your support means the world to me. He’s put desires in your heart for a reason, too, friend. Love love love ya!!!!
My mentor sent me something this week that I feel lead to share with you:
Have you ever asked God for the gift of callouses? I think we could have callouses if we really wanted them, but tenderness and sensitivity is a gift too. You can’t have both.
Picture an old blacksmith, working with hot iron all his life. His hands are so hard, deep callouses, cracks, so very rough… he may not feel pain anymore, but he also can never sense the softness of the skin of a little grandchild. His very touch can leave scratches on those he touches.
Soft is good! To feel and hurt and laugh and live and love, is GOOD. Our tenderness is pleasing to Him. You are going to see a lot of things that will hurt your heart this week, let them. It’s ok, because to feel is to love. To hurt is to be His hands and feet for the hurting. But it all comes with joy and peace that surpasses our understanding. May God be with you this week and you are caring for His orphans, just as the Bible commands. Go with a soft heart and helping hands, as we cover you in prayer……
~T
OK, not sure how I missed this beautiful word until now. Tonya- you are precious. Beautiful words from your mentor, and after experiencing it in the flesh, I know it’s true- to be tender and broken before Him is GOOD. I am more alive that way. Appreciate you :) -lauren
Just beautiful Lauren!
Christine: Thank you for reading and taking time to follow + comment :) Appreciate your support :)
blessings,
l
Oh, friend. I am praying for your team–that hearts will be broken and you will carry to many this thing that should not be stood. Beautiful mission–beautiful heart.
Thank you so much for praying Laura. xo, lauren
Wow, what an experience this will be! I’ll be praying that everything goes well and that you can make a difference. Thanks for linking up with us for Mommy Moments Monday!
Thenotquitemilitarywife.blogspot.com
Sarah: Appreciate you hosting :) Blessings!
This is such a beautiful post – I’m looking forward to reading more of your journey!
Thank you Callie! So grateful you stopped by to follow along.